I feel sad that you miss the point. Whether you call it 'sex' or 'sensuality', it's not about the 'act' itself – it's about the relationship and being present to the other person, your own experience – including your feelings and sensations and theirs – and not be focused on an end result (i.e. penetration) while something else is happening, possibly on the way to penetration. Otherwise, it could just be masturbation, using the other person's vagina instead of your hand. Sad for both of you.